Radio Vulva! (Winter 2004 at All About My Vagina)
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Showdown: Round 1, Fight 5

Ophelia vs. Little Red Corvette

Rebecca: This is another unfair competition. Let's listen to them anyway.

Ophelia

Listening to Ophelia
by Kinnie Starr, 1996

Sample lyrics:
“ She had red bread
Really, really red bread! ”

Rebecca: This doesn't sound like the makings for a good time, to have this on in the background. It's a lot of power play.

Sarah: It is pushy. It sounds more like stomping around than making out.

Rebecca: It sounds like bullying. “Listen to my song, while I do what I will!”

Sarah: I think mainly I like the use of the colour red, because it's bright, but that's no advantage when you're up against Little Red Corvette

Galen: “Really, really red bread!”

Rebecca: Or, a red corvette?… Do people often say “bread?”

Sarah: Not that I've heard.

Galen: Maybe she means something else.

Rebecca: Maybe Ophelia bakes tomato basil bread.

Galen: Maybe it's communist money. [laughter] Russian dollars!

Rebecca: [in a Russian accent]Ophelia

Galen: …has Russian dollars.

Rebecca: Really, really Russian dollars!

Galen: She's a mail-order bride!

Little Red Corvette

Little Red Corvette
by Prince, 1982

Sample lyrics:
“ Move over baby, gimme the keys
Iím gonna try 2 tame your little red love machine ”

Rebecca: Look, my whole demeanor changes. I'm perched on my seat.

Sarah: I think my favourite part of this song is the recurring horse metaphor for condoms, and the talk of jockeys.

Galen: That could have been Prince's other career: jockey.

Rebecca: He'd look so intense on a horse. All small, in a purple suit.

Galen: Or just naked, like on the back of “For You” where he rides the Pegasus.

Rebecca: That face!

Galen: OK, this song wins.

Rebecca: What if it comes down to Little Red Corvette and Let's Get It On? How will we choose?

Galen: It's going to be tough.

Rebecca: It is going to be tough. They're both perfect songs.

Winner: Little Red Corvette

Round 1 fight list | Next battle! -->

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Pay attention to this little discussion. It may seem completely absurd, but it was also the inspiration for the Panty Boy song you can download in this issue!

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