Radio Vulva! (Winter 2004 at All About My Vagina)
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Vagina Rock Showdown: Bonus Round

Battle of the Losers

Rebecca: Can we vote for the biggest loser?

Sarah: Oh man, we've got a lot of losers. Who's the biggest?

Galen: I think Peaches is.

Rebecca: Can we do Mango vs Peaches?!

Mango

Mango

Bruce Cockburn

1999

vs.
Diddle My Skittle

Diddle My Skittle

Peaches

2002


Galen: Peaches loses out due to the totally idiotic nature of the music.

Sarah: Let's listen to Bruce Cockburn again.

Galen: Arrgh. I don't care about either of them. I don't want to listen to either again.

Rebecca: Can we mash them together?

Sarah: Peaches and Mango—make a nice salad?

Galen: No-o-o… they're both losers.

Mango

Listening to Mango
by Bruce Cockburn, 1999

Sample lyrics:
“ She's got a mango in her garden: from the original tree
She's got a mango in her garden: shares it with me
Humid gleaming precious well, love to drink that water ”

Sarah: It sounds so sad! It's like Lovers In A Dangerous Time all over again.

Galen: It sounds like old people having sex. Really, it does.

Rebecca: Old, politically conscious people having intercourse.

Sarah: Maybe they're sad that the rest of the world doesn't have the beautiful gender relations that they do. What key is this in? It's weird to write a sex song in a minor key.

Galen: I'm just imagining some politically correct position that this might be suitable for.

Rebecca: Call it The Mango.

Galen: Maybe they aren't even having sex. They're just doing some kind of New Age courtship dance. (Does a sexy courtship dance.)

Galen: Diddle My Skittle loses! Biggest loser.

Rebecca: Aye.

Biggest Loser: Diddle My Skittle

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