thoughts on sex positions

page updated: 08-Jun-2004

Positions and Strategies

I have never owned a book of sex positions, partly because I have been somewhat disappointed by every book I've ever looked at on the subject. They never seem extensive enough, and it seems kind of pointless to get a book anyway when you can just be creative. I don't think there are any big secrets, although it is fun to find new ideas now and then. I compulsively read the Cosmo position issues in the supermarket line-ups, but mostly for the funny names they give to things.

I have never engaged in really complicated sex positions, such as those involving standing on your head or straddling two couches of equal height, or which employ a swing or hammock device. I haven't yet found the motivation to come up with any truly precarious ideas, but now and then something awkward happens because of an awkward situation such as being in a confined space or on a weird piece of furniture (counter, bathtub).

Usually I find a sexual position results naturally from a foreplay position, but sometimes I am in the mood for something in particular and suggest it. Barely ever do I explicitly request a sex position, nor have I had one requested of me. It is usually more understated, along the lines of “You're sexy such a way…” or “I like to be behind/on top/held down by/pressed against/whatever you.” Often this is all expressed just by climbing over each other's bodies and (gently) physically manipulating each other. This works either for suggesting new ideas or doing something we've done before.

When particular tips (like where it is best to put your legs or a pillow) are involved, I usually don't bring them up in bed, but beforehand. Over dinner or whatever :) Most often my boy and I mention ideas to each other that we think are sexy just as conversation and not as a planned event, and the next time we get to bed we want to try them out. Despite not having been motivated to buy a book of positions, when I run across a new idea I usually want to try it. Conveniently, my boy is also of this mindset.

When switching positions in the middle of sex, myself or my partner will usually initiate a change by pushing or pulling each other and sometimes saying something like “like this” or “here.” My boy often says “come here” and it is nice.

Special boy and I are more likely to change positions if we start in something that we don't usually do. We'll end up either getting impatient with the position because we are better at something else, or one of us will get uncomfortable because we are using different muscles than usual. Thus, we usually end up somewhere familiar. Switching positions usually results in both of us lasting longer, even if the transitions are uninterrupted and don't require awkward adjustments or “reinsertion.” It usually takes us 3 or 4 tries at a position before we'll spend a whole session of sex in it. Some are still strictly transient.

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