If I have a craving for something in particular, I will often steer my boy there. I can pull his hips into me with hands or feet or legs or sheets pulled across him, and I can hold him back, mostly with my thighs. I can press myself onto him; I can move my hips to the angle I want; I can rock my pelvis in the motion I want. Also I like when he wants something. We pay attention to each other so it works out.
It would bug me if I never got to influence the rhythm or style of thrusting during sex, but it would also bother me if I had to guide the whole process. Balance is important. Most people must know that already. No wait, the first time I had sex I was totally shy and wanted to be guided and lead. I probably didn't have to be shy, and I'm sure it would have been more fun for everyone involved if I'd been more assertive. The thing to know is that there is no right thing to do-- you can do anything, so do what you like.
Ok... besides being penetrated, I have done a bit of thrusting myself, since the purchase of a shiny blue strap-on dildo. This was something that I was fascinated with for some time before getting to do it (see toys for specifics). For me, being the person in charge of penetration was not a power trip, it was simply sexy because it involved an entirely different set of movements and actions. Anything new is almost automatically exciting.
Also, while it isn't so much a reversal of who is powerful and who is passive in bed (because I'm almost never passive or submissive in bed), it is a reversal of who is active and who is receptive, if that makes sense. Instead of taking something into me, I get put into somebody else. This can be sexy when it simply involves fingers or kisses, but having hip action involved is much satisfying in the way it relates to fundamental sexual reflexes (want to move hips!).
Maybe an even better example of this active vs. dominating idea is this sex position that I've gotten much enamoured of in the last little while:
If I am on top of my boy, but lying against him rather than sitting up, and with my legs inside of his (take a moment to visualize this with stick figures so you know what I'm talking about), I am mostly responsible for the movement of our bodies together. For some reason I find this more intense in this position than when I am simply sitting up on my boy, because the movements involved are not "riding" or squirming style movements but rather thrusting style movements. I am not receiving anything so much as making it (not letting or taking him into me, but putting myself onto him?).
Mainly it has pointed out to me that the person with the phallus doesn't have to be responsible for the penetration. I knew that anyway, what with how active I can be in moving to meet my boy or in pulling him to me. It made a difference though. As well, it is kind of fun to think about the idea that penetration requires both something to put inside something else, and that something else, so that the act can be caused from either side or both. I can be the penetrator even with my regular unit, cause the penetration is shared across two bodies.
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