sex dreams

page updated: 31-Mar-2004

One thing I was recently discussing with a female friend was the fact that we never have orgasms in our sleep, despite having massive smutty dreams in which we get hugely aroused and can feel it. Both of us will always either wake up or be interrupted in dream land (dream turns into a chase dream or whatever). Upon waking up, both of us would expect to still be all excited and on the verge of orgasm and attempt to masturbate but would find that we weren't actually physically aroused, we were just dreaming that we were (much like when you wake up crying but are just making wimpering noises). We both thought this was sort of unfortunate, given the way that guys can wake up having spilled their lust all over the sheets.

I can remember having been frustrated at waking up like this, and trying to get back to sleep to finish things but not ever being able to get aroused in reality without starting from scratch, which is hard when you are still mostly asleep and can't concentrate. Any females who have had femme wet dreams, please do write and give me hope (ok, hope confirmed! Now please send tips?).

The second kind of sex dream I have is not really a dream, but more of a hallucination. Often, when I am fully awake and having sex, I involuntarily get the strong impression of a scene, or of this sex being set somewhere specific, such as a German ski lodge or a garden made of candy. Strange, I think. When I close my eyes I will see bits of this place, not distinctly-- just in the background and not with specific details. It is more like I will have the visual sensation of being in a place, as opposed to actually seeing a place.

Much like a dream, I don't always remember these things afterwards. When I do, I usually want to tell about it, and it ends up sounding much like a trip story because of the way the setting is conceptual and not purely visual.

At first I figured this was just happening when I had sleepy sex and that I was half-dreaming when I closed my eyes, but it actually happens pretty much all the time. Sometimes even when I am not closing my eyes or in any kind of rhythmic half-trance. I have no idea what determines the setting; it barely ever repeats and isn't usually attributable to something I've seen or read about recently. They usually are familiar enough for me to have a generic name for each place (a subway, a pastel cowboy desert, Tron, etc). The scene never extends to who I'm making it with (I don't get the impression I'm having sex with a different person), but sometimes I will get an idea like "We are both astronauts" as an extrapolation of the setting. I've only ever discussed this with special boy, and we both think it is kind of hilarious, but he doesn't recall it ever happening to him.

I would like it very much if this had something to do with the way orgasms alter your brain chemistry (maybe being excited gives me a cool kind of seizure-- oooh), but I have no idea.

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