The most fun mess is when we play with the fancy strap-on unit. If we are just playing, it will usually end up beside us once we move on to some other activity and it will be no big deal to wash it later. However, on the occasions that we go all out with it and special boy ends up coming with it inside him, we can get self-conscious about removing it. One excellent memory is of beautiful boy waddling off to the bathroom to take care of it himself (he's so cute!). Not one for people with roommates.
Regarding the strap-on, I'm going to discuss it on the toys page because this is already long, and because it really is a different act in relation to my vagina. One is thrusting and one is being penetrated.
My boy is very cautious about this penetrating me, because he does not want to hurt me or break anything inside me. The rectum curves around inside the body and is more fragile than the vagina, as far as I know, so it benefits from a gentle treatment. Also he doesn't want to coerce me into doing something if I don't really want to. He tells me these things.
I much like that he is careful and considerate, but it does require some fairly specific communication. It can hurt to start, but that's ok. Sometimes a specific amount of lubrication or slowness or pressure is required to make it good, and this has to be conveyed somehow. I don't want it very often, but sometimes I do. I have to be very, very aroused beforehand for it to be any fun or seem sexy.
We only recently had this discussion despite having done this a few times. We had managed before, between intuition and non-specific talk like "is this ok?" and "ya," but it was big fun to actually tell each other what we thought about it. Heavy use of touching places instead of saying their names. I think the whole barrier to talking was the grr term "anal sex."
I find it really special? neat? nice? that boy and I can do this as a loving act and not be fetishy about it, when anal sex is usually portrayed as perverse or hardcore or extreme in some way, or as involving domination and power because it can hurt the person receiving it. The only positive reference to anal sex that I can think of is the Pansy Division song "Ring of Joy" ('any girl or any boy can break on through that ring of joy' ya). The only thing I find about it is that because special boy is behind me I miss him by the end and want to hold him and look at him and kiss him afterwards.
I bet I used the word "it" more in this topic than on any other in the whole site.
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