Simultaneous orgasms can be tricky because wanting to do good things to my partner can distract me from my own orgasm. It took awhile (5-6 months?) for my boy and I to get good at coming together.
Partly, he is good at timing himself and waiting for me. Partly, I can tell when I can concentrate more on what will make me come than what he needs. This doesn’t mean ignoring him, since being with him is a lot of what is sexy about the whole thing. I’m sure some people just coincidentally come together, but we mostly manage it by knowing each other well enough to balance doing good things to each other and making sure good things get done to ourselves.
Usually, in what I consider simultaneous orgasms, I come a little before my boy and he comes before I really finish. I think this is a product of him waiting for me.
I've never managed simultaneous orgasms during mutual oral sex or mutual masturbation. I find I get too distracted to do a very good job of handling someone, which may be lack of practise. It requires less coherent effort for me to keep up the simpler and mostly instinctual hip action involved in plain old het sex.
In case this was in question, I think coming together is neat. It adds to the already weird moment of distorted consciousness at the peak of orgasm, since there is nobody left out to act as a tie to regular reality. For me it cuts out all distractions to have boy in the same state as I am. I can be passively aware of it, I don't have any reason to think. I hope that didn't sound too much like I think orgasms are a rocket ride to another dimension.
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