I'm not sure at which point arousal and orgasm are distinguished. I usually think of orgasms as just the sexual climax, but I've heard them described as a process culminating in the climax.
However things are defined, I have to be aroused before I have an orgasm.
The usual progression begins with fairly localized good feelings centered around my clitoris. As I get more excited, these intensify and spread to a kind of deep pelvic pleasure and a desire to be touched both at the clitoral center of this business and inside my vagina. I donít think these desires are intellectual, I think they are the nature of the pleasure feelings. I would describe all of these things as arousal. I can experience all of them with no actual stimulation besides thinking, and if I donít do anything about them they will eventually go away. (For other things that can stimulate them, see arousal.)
I know that some women have orgasms involving no touching at all but Iíve never been dedicated enough to achieve this. At around this point in my journey toward orgasm (errÖ), I will usually cave in and touch myself if no one else is, or eventually lose interest and return to the land of the non-aroused.
If things continue, I will stay at about the same level of excitement for a varying length of time. The length of this depends on all kind of things, like how much Iím being physically stimulated and what kind of ideas Iíve got in my head, and whether or not Iím uncomfortably cold or itchy or nervous etc. I think these are the kind of things you would expect to affect an orgasm.
This stage, which I believe is called The Plateau, is followed by the part that I actually think of as an orgasm. This involves a sudden betterment of all the pleasure feelings going on in my pelvis, with most of the intensity returning to my clitoris instead of being focussed also into a desire to have something put in my vagina. These escalate to a peak, which is characterized more by being followed by an end to these particular pleasure feelings than by the achievement of any particular maximum level of them. At this point I know that the vaginal muscles will contract, and sometimes I can feel this. I can usually feel them spasm more if there is nothing in my vagina. After this event, all the arousal feelings are replaced by deep contentment and a hypersensitive clitoris that doesnít want to be touched anymore.
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