I think the blood spots on pants might be kind of like the teen boys with erections; how nobody really notices even though it happens a lot. OK not quite, boys probably have more moments. Still, I've only ever witnessed two blood messes on girls, neither still wet, and both times I think I was the only one to notice. Once a girl sat down on the floor across from me and her skirt fluffed out and flashed stained panties, and once my roommate just had a spot on her pyjamas that she later cleaned up. (I've only noticed one inopportune erection that wasn't for me to see, and that was actually the class photographer and not a teen boy at all. That was... inopportune...)
In coping with period laundry, my first method was to keep all of it in a bucket of water in my closet until my mum would discover it and make me wash it. This was traumatic for me for some reason. I think it was a kind of shyness. I really didn't like being conspicuously busy in the laundry room with a bucket full of bloody underwear and a bottle of liquid laundry soap. The soaking prevented most stains though.
Eventually I got on a system of immediately rinsing out any spotted items in the bathroom sink. This suited me much better. Nearly all blood will come out right away if run under cold water while it is still wet. Then it can be put in with regular laundry. If you are particularly shy you can even lock the bathroom door while you are at it.
Over time I had fewer leakage problems, mainly as I got better at estimating how long a tampon or pad would last, and also as my periods got lighter.
Most of my messes have occurred at night, because I always try to not have to get up in the middle of the night and re-dress my bleeding self. I think I would have done better had I just accepted that sometimes this is an inevitability.
Another common mess is due to having sex during my period. Being that I tend to be a smut, this happens a fair bit. The main challenge is to dispose of whatever menstrual product I'm using, get back to bed, and then get motivated to leap up and go back to the bathroom to stop up the bleeding again afterwards before making a significant mess of the sheets. I find that having some dark coloured underwear to pull on for the trip back to the bathroom is an easy way to prevent dripping on my legs or the floor while I scamper around. I've still made a mess of sheets doing this. Sometimes there are secondary messes like bloody fingerprints if I am bleeding quite a bit at the time.
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