sex during periods

page updated: 31-Mar-2004

As is mentioned on some other pages, I don't see bleeding as an obstacle to having sex. I've had all kinds of sex and oral sex while bleeding. In fact, the first time that my special boy and I made it I was totally bleeding and we made a big mess (hooray!).

Dealing with sex-blood messes is discussed on the mess page. The messes are probably my main concern with sex during my period. Orgasms can make me bleed more or make me start bleeding again after recently having finished. This would logically be because they involve uterine contractions, which are what get the blood out of the uterus in the first place.

Another issue with smut while bleeding is that for the first day or so of my period, my breasts, vulva, vagina, and what feels like my cervix will often be quite tender and achy. This makes me not want to be penetrated, because it would hurt. (Also if I am already hurting, I tend not to have too much of a sex drive). Sometimes at these times, I get into other kinds of smut like with hands and with mouths.

Oral sex during a woman's period seems to have a rather widespread taboo against it, way more so than just intercourse. This makes sense to me, as your face is a more intimate place than a penis to encounter a vagina and its blood. (Funny then that after about grade 4 "sex" becomes a more serious act than "oral sex" for most people). I don't remember ever wanting someone to not kiss on me because I was bleeding. I myself don't think the blood needs avoiding. I have however, been unsure of whether my partner would be alright with the bleeding.

Because of this, I have generally kept my bed partners on top of what my uterus was up to. When I was bleeding, I let them know so that they could indicate what they were comfortable doing. I'm not into trying to coerce somebody to do something they are antsy about, and I respect how smutty people are, but I think I would eventually get frustrated with a monthly sex-free period. My sex drive doesn't decrease when I'm bleeding.

Partly because of this, I've found that being on my period will more likely delay than prevent sexual activity, and I've never managed to put it off until the actual end of my bleeding time. Also, I've found that most avoidance of blood/smut has been because my partner and myself are being polite and not wanting to impose period sex on each other, rather than because either of us have a problem with it. This has always (uhh, all both times it's come up) resolved so that the bleeding is only an issue the first time it's encountered.

Still, I would venture that even now (after a couple of years of cohabitation), I get kissed on less while I'm bleeding. I still get kissed on, but often it is less, err... penetrating and more clitorally focussed than full-vagina enveloping. It's never been frustrating though, because there are plenty of other things to do.

There is some rumour that women have the best orgasms during their periods, but I haven't paid enough attention to comment on this. I can certainly enjoy sex while I'm bleeding, and I have noticed that orgasms can help soothe cramps and headaches. (So that isn't just a cheap line about the best thing for a headache...)

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See also bleeding after sex.

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